at the moment angst: i cant believe twini is ranting about me barrowing
this shirt. i mean, she barrows my shirt my pants and i dont make a big
deal out of it. at least i dont---in public----.

i woke up with a bad headache today. last night was an insomia freak; liquor couldnt bum. i ended up stuffing myself with rubber bread burger and lots of milk. i knew it was a bad idea to fit beer with milk. but i didnt had the energy to think about it. i wasted my energy trying to sleep. what a psycho. i ended up having a talk with mai-mai over the first season of sex in the city. wew...

earlier that evening, i was stuck in the boys apartment. it wasnt that boyeeeeeeesh yet since the guys juist transfered a couple of days ago.unlike in karls where you could say from a distant smell.....and right there and there lookss...wink... that their apartment is dominated with guys.i cant even imagine why i go there.now.now.lets see.uhm, right, 1. the books are gracious. 2. the cd...uhm. 3. and yeah karls fun too. Safe to say that i go there for the people.

anyway, going back to that night with the boyeesssh... johova and iglesia guy.well the guy (whos name stands for my 4th yr.ex-boyfriend,) had been my crush. i mean had been meaning past tense. after i knew that he seems to be texting my recently ex-boyfriend's sister. i cant help but think (and yeah i did think out loud) and joke it off " oi, mahilig diay ta sa mga dizon noh...", joke with a smirk, and he was like. "wala man oi". geesh that guy denying about something. i hate when guys do that especially my friends. just spill it off pareh i'll still lick you if i felt like to. just dont deny that you rock that astig chick.

but anyway, decided not to give more than a wink coz somehow my tol is tripping on him too. and anyway, those other guys there were my friends. i wasnt in the mood to break the boyesesh going....

so we ended up talking about narnia and school and grisham and jobs in school and school and the chicks they never had, poor things,

but more of poor me.... those guys(given their practice(see top)) does not smoke or bong around. they dont do those sort of things. which pissed me off a little considering that i associate chill with beer or smoke or could be eat and eat, yeah we ate , but still in that little awkward situation i wished i had a bottle in my left.

but anyway, after hours we had more talks and they were fun.... a little of guys my age fun. (i cant really say whutt, its the sort of time consuming fun you realize when your there but dont really remember the details after...whutt you call that....name it for me people!...

so we went home (my tol wanted to stay but hey save that lick for starurdays gurly, youve got a math to work on) it was fun because the real reason why i wanted to go home because 1. i was tired of waking up in another persons bed. (even not in an affair type....god, i had to clear it for square people.wink) not to mention some boys bed. geesh,,,it goes with the fact that i cant have a shower before i go out. those sort of things. and 2. because i wanted to drink.

so i went home and as soon as i arrive i got myself a breath and asked to have drink with them mai-mai and rose. funny, it ended up as a ticklicious bong between me and mai-mai. singing the "akoi the shock sa care niya. akoi the shock kasi concern SI-YA ("siya" with a deviliciouse bisaya intonation)" gave as lotta helium. fun though.

it was second of the array of small bongs. the other day was a rant about the incompetent and austracious himat with maitai. the story is panis and overly battered so ill save the battering to maita and them himati people. all i can say is "sayang naman ang lahat ng pinag-hirapan ng mga sinaunang namuno ng himati. that was tagalog ha(fil21 is getting into me).

anyway, i hope the himati would have a better release this sem. or first have a better relationship among themselves. im serious...i can actually call their petty fights as freaky and elementary.or more similar to "i dont like your nose., get a nosejob or ill pull it off and throw it to the dogs (whose nose i am referring to is obviouse).

anyway, back to last night. it was realy exhaustingly fun,. fun. but i wont kill to have the earlier hours to happen again. i could kill for a long talk in mts or a long sleep at a very clean even lousy room. but not that. perhaps i could just skip a meal for it. that can give justification.

....................hey it just hit me*(and this one isnt connected at all otherwise it wouldnt be a AHA!).....its 25 and i want to have another a date to fit christmas. hmm....crazy thought. rose started it. she wants to have a boyfriend on christmas. and i am too bored to accept that i feel thesame. but then again. ill be out with them 4c peeps altogether to FORGET the boyfriends for days. unless of course the guy next door,trophily flirty and "skip a meal" guy comes along. then again, whutever....


GOD....this lovelife is killing me. maybe its because mai-mai, rose, lemuel, juts?, odi, ricci, and all others are talking to me about it. geesh. either with a highly lame problem or with a teary yearn to have someone. geesh. its creapy and yet filling. brings me to the conclusion that Christmas is really a season of love. creapy.....

the season is like a bean
kept in a glass jar
fascened with rubber cap
and left seated for twelve
turns of the moon
on the farthest level
of the cupboard

for twelve months
the aroma of the bean
when made coffee
is left at the tip of the
tongue

for that one night
when carollers give their best
and the luxurious fireworks
burned to ashes

and i am seated in my glass chair
left seated for
what seem to be twelve moons
until the clock strikes a twelve