i'm so paranoid. i think i'm going to be scizzo.but why? i'm not depressed. my school is ok...my twin..my ate..i dont know about dad but i want to believe their ok.and nonat is very understanding. so why do i feel like i'm kinda hearing things in my head. like the other day. im so sure i heard something while sleeping........and in the ebl.i cleared my ear and then. nawala after a while.
sigh...........is this too mush food during lunch?. or am i just so pranoid i might be like someone..........
anyway.......
hell is coming soon.......
and its taking over the week. all im scared about is hum2 so i'm studying right now.
i'm craving for cup cakes.as in cuP cakes.THE WAY IT MELTS IN MY MOUTH...........HMMMMMMMMMMMM


by the way, my friends from cagayan went here last weekend. sila nik, bero and some new guys who were their classmates. we went to mts then venue with nonat.fun.fun.fun....i had fun even though i wasnt able to play gaga and do my wild thing. nonat was there with me.i had fun looking at his puzzled face. i have never seen him so 4-years -older before. coz his so calm and sabay lang and chilling out lang..and the others were like verbose drunk na.i kept on saying..."pasensya na ha.kids paman gud me." and he was like "dili man"(with a face that says he was lieing......hahaha.

(someone became comatose all of a sudden.i wonder...and with all the effort of coming here....) siguru someone didnt get laid coz girls in davao prefer guys with cars,.too bad he didnt show his car which was 8hours way. am i being a bitch?

basta,,,had fun looking at my look a like kick some ass...gave those guys some davao..but then oh,,,the next day..they were out looking for sabay and then. oh wait..."guys that was just yesterday(when you looked a bit pleasant)...today i'm cooking DINNER while making a BLUEPRINT you lousy piece of HORNS!!!!" hahah.......

nahimoot KO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
========...thats a way to call it..........love this gal..no wonder gazellions fall for her coz shes so INNOCENTLY WICKED.


met kuya roy the next day.had beer. he is fun. i mean really.

We see ourselves through the people we went with is saying that we are different people in every person we go with.
The first reflects who i am when i open a new window at a particular friend in friendster. Like this particular guy i went with when i was 15. I was that silly and innocent person with him and that is not me right now. If given a chance, i wouldn't have a long conversation about our views and life right now because his mentality would be very different from where i stand. Perhaps we would only talk about how we miss each other so much. And how we were during the time when we were together.
And that explains the fact that each person becomes a different human being. A unique soul when confronted with various individuals. I act differently when i am with my twin sister or my father. Or that bitchy friend i have. And that makes life so colorfully wakooooooo.
But why do we still miss that certain person. no....we miss ourselves: who we are when were with him. Because right now i am so complex and out of this world that i begin to miss the simplicity of a childhood sweetheart. Waiting for a call, for a gift during valentines and then the routine of going home with him. There is no look or wish to kiss this guy.
Because you haven tried it yet. You just have that pleasure of being with him. Of telling him your silly stories and hearing him complement how unique you are. And then you begin to feel that indeed you are unique in the world. But then the world is just you and him.
Experiencing a prick in the finger and wading adolescence goodbye is so painful. Because we begin to feel that everything is too late. We cannot learn ballet because our ligaments are tight. We cannot learn piano because our fingers are distorted. We cannot feel the pleasure of simple things. Simple things in its entirety. Not looking at a simple kiss as it may grow to pleasure and lust. Just kissing the guy and feeling loved. But then it may not be too late because i felt it the other morning........
with this person i am simple and i am different. I am not the unscrupulous gal you want to throw in the classroom window. I am not the cynical and condescending blabbermouth you sit with at the atrium. I am me who is giving a smock to this 23 year old dude and is fumed with how he smiles after i give him one.
We see ourselves through the people we went with is saying that we are different people in every person we go with.

now
in the jeepney
my body could not
walk out.

though
as it runs and flies
to its route
my thoughts travels

still i am caged
to travel my thought
until it stops
and i arrive at your door

and i travel
with you.
the sofa
as jeepney

we sit
and it runs
our storys
as engine

we are free

there are times when i dont really want to talk about someone because he is so special to me and it would be very corny to talk too much about him. well.this is one of those times.