celine said that "young people take for granted connections with someone because they think they might meet someone else who might have the same or better connection."
well, a couple of years ago, i had that same night:
SUNRISE
counting the stars
lying on a wide carpet
as i was lying on
a sand carpet
with an elbow
made into pillow
FROM a guy i wished
i'd kissed.

we waited
for the stars
to shy down
and the sun
to boast its
glory.

and as it did
i only picked
my sand-buried self
and my sand buried asnadals
and convinced myself
that this guy would not
be the last.

i woild have other guys who would pillow their elbows on my head.

yes, he was indeed that person who kept on asking me to be with him. for he was 20 something and perhaps he had realized that he might be leaving college without a heart on his hands. but then i was convinced that he was not the best i could have. i was young and free yet bored. i met a dancer, i met a bomb. i met a guitaeist, i met someone who love tossing balls through his head. but then i turned them down because of thesamae reason. and then everything else reminded me of that beautiful boy i had turn-down when i was 15.
SUNSET
with
sunflowers faces
like the sun
witnessing our steps
our awkward faces,

i told him and he told
me through a strange
vernacular
yet a piercing vernavualr
a snetence
that could leave someone
sleepless at night.

"naiboG ko sa imo"
"ako pud."

and as our hands held tight
and our eyes
exchanged fixed looks,
the sunflowers shyed down

as the sun pretended to sleep
but still peeped through
the many eyes of the stars,
we decided to go home
but knew sleep was
never going to happen.

i left that guy becasue i thought i was young and i had many these and that. i had someone who might have done better than him. but it is when a young person almost grows old. that she realizes that....she should have kept someone to watch her grow and watch evey sunrise and sunset there is after that.

but then she realizes that maybe...everything she did was meant so that she'd realize these all and do better when that last person arrives.............................
THESE ARE THE EXPLANATION WHY EVEN IF A LOVER REGRETS NOT LOVING SOMEONE SHE HAD LOVED SO MUCH IN THE PAST, THAT THEY END UP LOVING SOMEONE SHE HALF-LOVE.
BUT THEN YOU COME TO THE IDEA....OF AN EDITING PROCESS...EDIT THE STORY OF YOUR LOVE....
THE DRAFT MAY BE RAW...THOSE PAST LOVES MAY BE RAW BUT THEN THE EDITED ALWAYS BECOMES BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER HOW YOU CRITIZISE IT. THE EDITED IS THAT THAT IS PUBLISHED.

11. i'm QUITE paranoid but higjly APOLOGETIC
12. i'm unscrupulous... oh well.faithless and tikalon...but atleast is also means i'm artful
13.i'm not an infatuation junkie but i'm a derpressed junkie.
14. i'm a chameleon but a stray cat at the same time
15..in other words...............i'm moody....totally unpredictable and a clear prosepect for schizzo

Prospect schizzo

someeone save me
before i leave with
the manang i love
the manang i have
stared too much
the manang i love

her
window eyes
may seem empty
a peripheral
of a french window
but when i pressed
my nose to its
vapored stained glass
i saw her playing
with that baby boy
playing as if she was
under a moonlight

and i was curious
yet i was mad

i played with her
to keep her from playing
i asked the moon
to stop beaming
so manang and i
could stop playing
and put the boy to sleep
but then we couldnt
the boy was playing too

someeone save me
before i leave with
the manang i love
the manang i have
stared too much
the manang i love

"In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth: 3"

A broad incision sits across the evening
The victim to our fathers lost war
The restless children sit and mourn the graves
Of those they've never seen before
Will they be buried here among the dead?
In the silent secret

[Chorus:]
The pioneers
In dealing with it they march for dawn, of Will and worthy
The truth be told the child was born
Man your own jackhammer
Man your battle stations
We'll have you dead pretty soon
And now
Sincerely written from my brother's blood machine
Man your battle stations
We'll have you home pretty soon
And now

Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move
Over arms length they'll break protocol
Jealous envy for the youngest one
To be the hero is all I'll ask
Can I be buried here among the dead?
With room to honor me here in the end
You'll be better off too soon
You'll be better off when you get home

[Chorus]

For you,
I'd do anything just to make you happy, hear you tell me that you’re proud of me
For them,
I'll kill anything cut the throats of babies for them break their hearts for they were them
Waiting for you to say: I love you too

The navigator
The pilot
Her favorite
The one they call the vision that bears the gift
[x2]

Will,
Do the children really understand the things you did to them?
And why oh why…
Should they conjure up the will for you my love I would kill him
we're coming home pretty soon
Coming home

In the seventh turning hour
Will the victims shadow fall?
Should the irony grow hungry?
With the victory and all they sought for
We were one among the fence
One among the fence

[Guitar riffs and vocalizing]

We're coming home

Man your own jackhammer
Man your battle stations
We'll have you dead pretty soon
And now
Sincerely written from my brother's blood machine
Man your battle stations
We'll have you home pretty soon