i always spend 30 min on the lrc to net. i feel it is gives me positive enerygy. it gives me sure privacy and belongingness to be in front of a screen that looksback at me.... these days have been very confusing....bad...because i flunk a subject. i know.it was my fault.the cycle of me being indulent during second sems starts again. forget to study. i just leave everything in come what may which is not suppoose to be the thing because it is college....its different...not mention college on a really difficultb school n society. anyway...i'm still glad that after everythinhg, i get to hone my communicating skills with my sideline with ferlean and other model friends. not mention my frelance writing2x...its amazing....i sometimes get amazed on the things i can do...gosh....but well...i need to find a stable one because i need to be independent and to raise myself.because i am going 20 and i dont want that anyone would work inorder to feed me...its frustrating because i felel guilt and ikog....and i need this inorder to help myself. mood these days: kikay!

i would like to take this opportunity to thank....
1. those who went to our dance ensemble dance concert last feb.10.pahabol
2. those who have spent alife with me....
3..my twin sister for fighting with me and yet not stabbing my back even when i get too anoying...hehhe...kidding love yah...
4...for my friends in every place i have been....for being so you and blackmailing me bout your secrets.and libre and hehe..kidding....hehehheyah....thanks...
5. for my family...for wwwwiping my nose when i was 4 and for telling me the truth that i look good...ehhehehe
6. for my sisters and brothers....hehheheher!!!!!!
7...for my laag friends for being so gorgeuous and narcistic....ka model friends.....stay wafa....heheheh..likeme?pahabol...........
8. to all i have been with...for the care,afection and kiss...
9.to evreyone who have been so there....reasons why my life is spilling right now....
10. i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have no title for this entry.... because i cant seem to find the perfect one.i cant find the perfect title or word to describe what i am feeling these days....is it because i am suffering post-stressed week syndrome?or is it because the cycle of me having to be pissed on a valentines day begins again.... last year, i was pissed during this day....because i turned down every guy who invited me....hahaha....i mean...i ditched a guy who invited me on a group date because i felt like i wouldnt be comfortable going out with him.he wasnt at all the star complex i was expecting to be with....and yeah....i was a bitch for that.....so it turned out that i spent have of the day waiting until my boy-best friend would appear ready to libre me...not on a given date-thing.just a comfortable afternoon...it turned out that he had already spent the moring with his ate and already watch the corny film we planned to watch...we had to go to the cafe to eat...i was then pissed because he kept on teasing the hell out of me...i was annoyed because there were too many people and he still teased me...what a brat! although i would have expected that in him...he was my bestfriend. so i left him and went out with my gurl friends.we went to a bar i spent the whole night of a valentines day...bouncing to the tune of rnb. i endend up meeting a basketball player that only his silhoute i cud see....cvhada!!! i also ditch em because i went home early with sweaty...lucky for me he look for me.....the next day...now thats a different issue.... more turn downs....i also turn down the best guy for me because i was a valentine denial....i was a sick ditch...so sadto have told everyone the opposite....first guy...so sad to have told him i was with someone else..lier me...well...i was with someone else but it wasnot at all serious...eheheh............ anyway....now...its valentine....i went to the lova palooza party last saturday and almost made out with my lesbian model friends.ehehehe.... kidding..... i was so happy that that day...i realize that i should change myself...i should stop this hedonist me and begin a life of reality....i should end every hedonistic view of me....well...perhaps on occasions when i get bored....but i am saying....i should try....so that i would you know...start a serious relationship...crap...now i have said it......i really wanna be serious with my modeling job. and take that tutorial work....and have big scores in my exams again...i should....and yah....start my job done....its all that for me in valentines...a new life...life with earings...........eheheheh...anyway....i'd like to say this: i love you all who reads my pages.....and who doesnt. you have the effort to just glance at the shallow deep side of me...................